Day Thirty-Eight: The Fifth Weigh-In and Week In Review

Wow, I've really dropped the blogging ball the past two weeks. Let's just say life's been crazy, work's been crazy, I've been crazy. Literally, just the other day my boss and I were sending each other emails with size 48 font and lots of emoticons. We'd gone crazy. And crazy is no mood to be in when you're trying to write down deep, thoughtful...thoughts. Apparently I am still not completely coherent, but we'll move on anyway.

You wouldn't know it, because I didn't tell you, but last week I lost 3.1 pounds. I was seriously having some trouble eating all the calories SparkPeople was telling me to eat, so I adjusted my account so that it wasn't adding calories in based on my workouts. My calorie range is now 1200-1550, which feels a lot more reasonable to me. With what I'm eating now, I don't need more calories to feel full. And I haven't had any negative side effects from "not eating enough." Before I was eating JUST TO EAT because I didn't want to eat too little, but I feel like that's a slippery slope to Red Vines. "Welp, I have to eat 300 more calories today, may as well eat the demon candy." So for now, a few less calories it is. Don't worry, as soon as I start feeling any adverse effects or hunger of any kind, I will be all over those extra calories, but for now I don't think I need them.

Moving oh, here is a look at this past week.

Food
Honestly, as I sit here and write this, I don't remember much about what I ate this week. Which probably means that none of it was worth writing about. I stayed in my calories, even though I ate an obscene amount of lemon snaps this week. I also had Red Vines for lunch today. Damn it!

Fitness
A few weeks ago I was a yoga machine. Now I am a walk-jogging machine. Each week I add thirty seconds to my jogging intervals, and take away thirty seconds of walking. This week I had even intervals of two minutes, thirty seconds each. It was tough, but I stuck with it. Because I've been working late all week, I didn't get any yoga done until today. But I still feel proud that I stuck with my 5K training.

Weigh-In
Drum roll, please. This week I am down another 1.7 pounds to 227 pounds even. That is a total loss of 24.7 pounds in about 2 months. I couldn't be prouder of myself. Not just because I've lost weight, but because I've persevered through the rough bits and always come out on top. Losing weight is NOT easy, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you. But if I can do it, I think anyone can, as long as they're in the right mindset.

Day Twenty-Nine: This Week's Plan (or Not)

There was a plan for this week, I swear. It's just that sometimes plans don't work out and you end up at McDonald's for dinner. But the important thing is that, no matter how much your plans are derailed, no matter what goes wrong or what you eat, you have to be honest with yourself about what happened, why it happened, and what you can do to prevent it from happening again.

This week's plan was driven off course by a lot of factors. I forgot my dad was coming to town. I didn't check the weather forecast. I had to go to a late meeting and didn't finish in time to exercise OR make dinner that night. Snit happens, as my mom would say. It is always going to happen, and it's important that we don't use it as an excuse for throwing our good intentions and hard work out the window. There's no reason to feel bad about yourself, feel like a failure, or sabotage yourself just because something didn't go right. That's an important thing to learn, and it's something I've finally grasped.

The scones I baked for breakfast this week were terrible. The thought of exercising or cooking after my late meeting was terrible. The 90 degree weather on the day of one of my training runs was terrible. These things were all terrible, but I took the problems, worked with them, accepted what happened, and moved on. There is no blame to be placed, no shame to be felt for not having a perfect life. I think a lot of us forget that when we're trying to lose weight and get healthy. We want so badly to reach this skinny nirvana, and we don't know what to do when something goes wrong on that journey (did I just use the word journey? Hashtag kill me now). And so we go to this dark place of shame and pity, and Coca Cola and Kit Kat bars, and then give up altogether because we can't do it.

That's absolutely not true. We CAN do it. I can do it, you can do it, anyone can do it. We just have to want it enough, work at it enough, and be willing to face the tough times with some dignity, self-respect, and HONESTY. Be honest with yourself about the choices you make. Did I have to go to McDonald's instead of going home and throwing a salad together? No. Did I? Yes. Do I feel bad about it? No, because things happen. Life's not perfect, and we're going to make mistakes. The important thing is to ACKNOWLEDGE the mistake as just that - a mistake. Not some life-ruining moment that is worth throwing away everything you've worked for. Acknowledge it, contemplate it, track it, come up with ways to prevent it from happening again. But never, ever, EVER let a mistake get in the way of what you want.

And because I'm talking about honesty here, I'm just going to add that McDonald's chicken nuggets and French fries really don't taste that great once you've gone without them for almost 2 months. Okay, the French fries were good. But the nuggets? I can live without them.

Day Twenty-Five: The Third Weigh-In and Week in Review

Oh hey there, Saturday. Nice to see you. Really, really, really nice. Seriously, I've been waiting for this Saturday to arrive since about 8pm last Sunday. As soon as I think, "I have to go to work tomorrow," my next thought is, "When is Saturday?" I know they say Do what you love and all that, but that doesn't always pay the rent, so I am stuck having a day job until I become a superstar blogger, not that that will ever happen.

But even though this week felt longer than most, and I was stressed and upset through most of it, I still stuck (mostly) to my plan for the week. I think the stress even helped me get more exercise in, because I used yoga as a way to calm myself down after work. I was a yoga rock star this week. I'm still terrible at it, but I tried and that's what counts, okay?

Here's this week in review:

Food
You know how sometimes your brain just isn't functioning correctly? Especially when you're having a crappy day/week? That happened to me this Wednesday, when I had two brain farts that ultimately lead to me having to make some adjustments to my nutrition. First, I failed to read the recipe I was making closely, and added 1.5 pounds of ground beef to my meal instead of just half a pound. Oops. So first I had to adjust all that extra ground beef into Spark People and see how badly I had messed up. Turns out it wasn't so bad, because it's an all-around healthy dish anyway, so I actually needed the additional calories.

Then I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer to thaw in the fridge for Friday's dinner. So as I drive home on Friday, I'm thinking of fried chicken, and then realizing there is no chicken, and then contemplating Skittles for dinner. I ultimately went with oatmeal, but it has really messed up my meals today, when I was supposed to eat the leftovers. And since basically all I had left in my fridge was bacon and hot dogs, I had a very fatty day today. Oops again. But learn from it and move on, I say. And yet I still haven't learned that I need to keep emergency dinner ideas around. Sigh.

Fitness
Did I mention I am a yoga rock star? Also a 5K Training rock star? Because I am. My 5K training this week was damn hard: 2 miles Sunday at 1 min jog, 4 min walk intervals; 1.5 miles Tuesday and Thursday at 1 min, 30 secs jog, 3 min 30 secs walk. Tuesday and Thursday were hard. I think a minute and thirty seconds is the longest I've ever run in my adult life, I kid you not. And I had to do it 4 times in less than 25 minutes? It was rough, but I did it, and I'm feeling super proud of myself for that. Of course, next week I'm up to 2 minutes jogging, so we'll see how that goes.

Now yoga. Yoga all-star right here, y'all. I get an A+ for this. I set a goal to do yoga 2 days this week, and I did it twice as many times. Thirty minutes on Monday, 20 minutes on Tuesday, 20 minutes on Wednesday, and 40 minutes today. That's 4 times!! For a total of 110 minutes, when my goal was only 40-70 minutes. Seriously, I win right now.

Weigh-In
After Ground Beef-Gate (which I supposed is still better than Red-Vine Gate...or is it?), I was again worried about my weight. I feel like even though I'm eating mostly healthy foods, and I'm staying within my calorie goal range on Spark People (and most of my other nutrients too), I'm still eating too much. And I think part of that is that I'm never hungry anymore. I used to always be hungry because I only ate once a day, and pigged out as much as I could at that one meal. I'm not used to always being full/satisfied, and I feel like I should be starving, because that's what weight loss was like in the past when I was trying to lose weight and still eat all junk. But for now, being full all the time is working, because I am down another pound to 231.9. I so badly want to see 229 next week, but I'm not going to push it. I just have to do the best I can, and let my body do the best it can.

Day Twenty-One: When Life Gives You Pork Chops...

...make a mashed potato sandwich? Life doesn't always work out the way you think it will, and at those times, it's good to think on your toes. I had another dinner meltdown on Monday night, when my pork chops that were supposed to be delicious turned out to be, well, inedible. Not actually inedible, but just not very tasty, and thus inedible to me in my journey to not make myself miserable. I don't like eating things I don't like (uh?), and forcing myself to just makes me want Cheetos. So after deciding I wouldn't eat a big portion of my dinner...or lunch or dinner the next day...or lunch the day after that, I had to decide how I was going to make up those missing calories.

On Monday night, I ate my peas and mashed potatoes wrapped up in a sourdough roll. Mashed potato sandwich, y'all. One of my favorite foods as a kid. Yesterday for lunch, I really did just eat peas and mashed potatoes. It was sad and I was hungry, but I didn't run to my boss's office looking for candy. I dealt with it. For dinner, I fried up my mashed potatoes in a teaspoon of butter and made mashed potato pancakes, and cooked some hot dogs to go along with them. And from there, yep, hot dogs. Hot dogs are the quick and easy solution to the question of "Where do I get 200 calories from?!" They're there, they're easy, and sure, they're not the best for you, but they work in a pinch and they sure are tasty. I love the Applegate Naturals beef hot dogs. They are like hot dog heaven. But they're pretty expensive, and they don't sell them at the Sprouts where I shop for groceries. So I've been buying a brand called Coleman, which is still uncured, and still pretty good. Not as good as Applegate, but not bad by any means.

Remember a couple of weeks ago, or maybe even last week, I don't remember...but anyway, remember when I Noted To Self to have some emergency foods ready for when dinner doesn't work out? Well I never followed through on that, but thank goodness hot dogs come in packs of 8 and I only planned on eating 4 this week. On an additional note, I think I'm going to forgo attempting to cook pork chops anymore. I just don't seem to enjoy them, no matter how I cook them. They're cheap, but that's the only thing they've got going for them, in my eyes at least. Chicken is cheep (!) cheap too, and it doesn't make me sad whenever I try to eat it.

Go chicken! Down with pork! Except bacon. Always bacon.

Day Nineteen: This Week's Plan

Last week went really well (until Red Vines), so I want to keep up the momentum this week. I loved my one little yoga session yesterday, so I've decided to add another one in on Monday. Monday is laundry day, but other than that I don't have much going on after work since I am living on leftovers. So it's the perfect day to squeeze another yoga session in. I also decided, during my walk this morning, that I really prefer run/walk intervals over running just at the beginning and then walking the rest of my distance. I feel like I can do more running, just as soon as I catch my breath, so today I did a 1 minute jog followed by 4 minutes of walking, and repeated it for the whole two miles. It was tough, but I felt a lot more accomplished at the end of it than I would have if I'd only run 1 minute the entire time.

So here is my food and fitness plans for this week.

Sunday
B: Lemon Blueberry Scone, Applesauce
L: Leftover Oven Fried Chicken, French Fries
D: Glazed Pork Chops, Olive Oil Mashed Potatoes, Peas
Fitness: Walk 2 Miles (Run 1 Min, Walk 4 Min)

Monday
B: Chocolate Almond Butter Muffin, Banana
L: Glazed Pork Chops, Mashed Potatoes, Peas
D: Glazed Pork Chops, Mashed Potatoes, Peas
Fitness: 20-30 Minute Yoga Video

Tuesday
B: Chocolate Almond Butter Muffin, Banana
L: Glazed Pork Chops, Mashed Potatoes, Peas
D: Hot Dog BLT
Fitness: Walk 1.5 Miles (Run 1 Min, 30 Sec, Walk 3 Min, 30 Sec)

Wednesday
B: Chocolate Almond Butter Muffin, Banana
L: Hot Dog BLT
D: Dirty Brown Rice

Thursday
B: Chocolate Almond Butter Muffin, Banana
L: Dirty Brown Rice
D: Dirty Brown Rice
Fitness: Walk 1.5 Miles (Run 1 Min, 30 Sec, Walk 3 Min, 30 Sec)

Friday
B: Chocolate Almond Butter Muffin, Banana
L: Dirty Brown Rice
D: Oven-Fried Chicken Thighs, Veggies

Saturday
B: Chocolate Almond Butter Muffin, Banana
L: Oven-Fried Chicken Thighs, Veggies
D: Red Vines Oven-Fried Chicken Thighs, Veggies
Fitness: 20-40 Minute Yoga Video

Day Eighteen: The Second Weigh-In and Week In Review

Another week, another weigh-in. Let's just jump right in.

Food
This week was great, until I went to grocery store two hours ago. I thought, I've been so good this week, I'm going to reward myself with some junk food. And do you know what junk food I chose? Have you read my previous posts? Can you guess? Of course, it was Red Vines. And while the plan was to just eat a serving, anyone who has ever tried to give up any sort of vice knows how that goes. So tonight I had Red Vines for dinner. I didn't want more leftovers anyway.

But really, until ten minutes ago, I was doing really well. The biggest hurdle was Cinco de Mayo, for which we had a party at work. I decided to bring my own lunch, which was the Saucy Chicken Taco Meat with rice, and added just a little bit of carne asada and tortilla chips from the catered food. Of course, I counted my tortilla chips, guesstimated the ounces of asada, and added them to my nutrition tracker on SparkPeople. Just like I added this entire carton of Red Vines to my tracker. Damn it, Red Vines!

Fitness
I stuck with my plan for the week, 4.5 miles walked, 20 minutes of yoga, 92 minutes total. Next week I want to fit another session of yoga in, maybe on Monday. Things are going well with the 5K training, and I am on track to meet my (measly) goal of 53 minutes. Yes, that is slow. No, I don't care. The last couple years I've run out the gate screaming bloody faster trying to improve my times, which always resulted in some injury or another, which I would just ignore, make worse, and then I would fail miserably at making any time goal. This year, I'm taking it slow, and not pushing myself harder than I feel comfortable with.

Weigh-In
I was honestly worried again about this morning's weigh-in. Like, why do I always eat the most terrible foods of the week for dinner on Friday night, when I know I have to weigh myself on Saturday morning? First it was a giant plate of (oh my gosh amazing) pasta. And this week it was "fried" chicken, which didn't actually turn out in any way, shape, or form like it was supposed to, but was still pretty good. And French fries! Who eats French fries the night before a weigh-in? Apparently I do, and apparently it worked, because I am down 1.2 pounds this week, weighing in at 232.9. Another high-five, and then a nap, because those Red Vines made me tired.

Day Thirteen: Goals For May

Goals are important, I get that. If you don't have something to work towards, you get lazy. But at the same time, I hate making goals for myself, because I feel so terrible if I DON'T achieve them. I think I always set my sights so high, because in that moment I feel like I can do anything. And then reality sets in and I'm elbow-deep in a bag of Cheetos having a Supernatural marathon on Netflix. So goals and I, we've got some figuring out to do.

In an effort to keep myself from having a failed-goal-induced meltdown, I think this month I'm going to stick with this goal: keep doing what I'm doing. I'm planning, I'm tracking, I'm cooking, I'm training for a 5K, I'm blogging about it. Those are the things I'm doing, and those things are working. I don't want to overcomplicate my life by adding "Complete 500 Pushups" or "Make Some Friends" or "Run More/Faster" to the list of things I want to accomplish. I mean, I would like to accomplish those things, don't get me wrong. But right now it's time to focus on the basics.

So, in conclusion, my goals for May are as follows:

1. Make a meal plan every week and try super duper hard to stick to it.
2. Limit eating out to once every 1-2 weeks.
3. Continue following my 5K training plan (my race is on June 2nd, can't back off now!).
4. Blog at least 3 times a week...ish.

So those are my goals for May. No "Lose 25 Pounds" or "Become an Olympic Weight Lifter." Just simple things I actually feel confident about accomplishing.

Do you have any goals for May? Share in the comments!

Day Twelve: This Week's Plan

Time for another weekly plan! I know, it's so exciting! Except I wasn't very excited yesterday, after planning everything and buying all my groceries, to enter everything into SparkPeople for the week and find I wasn't eating nearly enough calories for half of the week. I think a big part of this was dropping the sausages I normally eat from my breakfast in an effort to reduce my fat intake, plus the fact that I am working on Saturday morning and won't have time to make a smoothie or anything complicated. But I'd spent my entire grocery budget (plus some...), so I really couldn't afford to go buy anything else to get my calories up to par. It required a little tweaking, and some maybe not so great food choices (read: saltine crackers to the rescue), but I eventually got myself to a level of calories I am comfortable with eating. (Down with starvation, people!) I've also pretty much given up on gluten-free, because it's painfully difficult to live without dairy AND wheat. I feel for people who have legit allergies to both. But I'm pretty sure the dairy is what has been killing my digestive system, so I'm focusing on that for now.

I went so far this week to add ONE DAY of yoga. Because I found that I spend most of Saturday sitting around on my tush, I did some yoga yesterday, and want to continue with it next week. Yoga is cool, y'all. Hella cool. Anyway, on with the plan!

Sunday
Breakfast: Almond Butter Banana Smoothie Bowl
Lunch: Jack-in-the-Box Chicken Teriyaki Bowl (treat yourself, people! Also, dairy-free!)
Dinner: Bacon Topped Petite Turkey Meat Loaf
Fitness: Walk 1.5 Miles (Walk 5 Min, Run 30 Sec, Walk Remaining)

Monday
Breakfast: Lemon Blueberry Scone, Banana
Lunch: Bacon Topped Petite Turkey Meat Loaf, Apple
Dinner: Bacon Topped Petite Turkey Meat Loaf, Saltine Crackers

Tuesday
Breakfast:  Lemon Blueberry Scone, Banana
Lunch: Bacon Topped Petite Turkey Meat Loaf, Applesauce
Dinner: Hot Dogs, Green Beans, Saltine Crackers
Fitness: Walk 1.5 Miles (Walk 5 min, Run 1 Min, Walk Remaining)

Wednesday
Breakfast: Lemon Blueberry Scone, Banana
Lunch: Hot Dogs, Green Beans, Saltine Crackers, Apple
Dinner: Saucy Chicken Taco Meat, Brown Rice

Thursday
Breakfast: Lemon Blueberry Scone, Banana
Lunch: Saucy Chicken Taco Meat, Brown Rice, Applesauce
Dinner: Saucy Chicken Taco Meat, Brown Rice
Fitness: Walk 1.5 Miles (Walk 5 min, Run 1 Min, Walk Remaining)

Friday
Breakfast: Lemon Blueberry Scone, Banana
Lunch: Saucy Chicken Taco Meat, Brown Rice, Apple
Dinner: Oven Fried Chicken, French Fries

Saturday
Breakfast: Lemon Blueberry Scone, Banana
Lunch: Oven Fried Chicken, French Fries
Dinner: Oven Fried Chicken, French Fries
Fitness: Yoga (20-40 Minute Beginner Video)

Did I ever mention I like bananas?